September 22, 2006

i give up on trying to plan things. seriously. anytime i want to have something special something stops it from happening. not that it’s anyone’s fault. but i just have really bad luck. not that it matters, i don’t think i’ve once been able to actually pull something off; therefore, it just looks like i’m full of crap and never had anything to begin with. i should be used to it. but i’m not. i’m sick of always feeling like i was lying. even when it’s ME who feels like i lied. i feel like i let myself down. it used to be someone saying “you always say that” and thinking i just made it up. now it’s to the point where i’m saying “why did you mention you were planning something anyway” because now i do feel like i was full of crap. so i’m done trying to plan things. not because it’s someones fault, but because “I” can’t worry about it anymore. i already have enough as it is.

We’ll do it all
On our own

We don’t need
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don’t quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They’re not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

Let’s waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see

I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?


you could be happy

September 7, 2006

You could be happy and I won’t know
But you weren’t happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played on loops ’till it’s madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I’d been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it’s all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don’t think, just do

More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

"Family comes first…"

July 5, 2006

Wow yesterday was crazy. Got up and watched all of the Space Shuttle stuff with my dad. It was all in HD on one of the InDemand channels so that made it even more interesting. Went to go bowling with Tera but the bowling alley was closed. So we went back to my house to play pool and watch the Italy/Germany game which turned out to be incredible. I think it may have been the best soccer game I’ve ever seen. After that we went to see “Click” which was good but not what I expected at all. It was more of a drama than a comedy. The rest of the night kind of sucked but I don’t feel like mentioning it here. Time to get to work.

"I’m mentally tired, but you don’t hear me complaining!"

July 3, 2006

Spent most of the day yesterday watching movies. Went and played tennis with my parents for a little bit. I was quite surprised at how good they were. I underestimated all of my dad’s trashtalk. Nothing going on today that I know of. I’m EXTREMELY bored here at work. I think I’m about to go something to eat. If anyone has any good suggestions on how to not be bored, I need them.

"Move up! It’s the fat kid!"

July 2, 2006

Friday I left work early so that I could get some much needed World Cup time. Watched that most of the day and then went to the courts that night for about 3 hours.

Yesterday watched more World Cup all day. Brazil AND England both lost. But it happens. Went to Seneca Lake last night to hang out with a bunch of people and watch the fireworks. Played 3 on 3 kickball which was a lot more fun then it sounds, threw some frisbee, blew stuff up, you know how it is lol. It was a fun time but the fireworks….not so great.

I don’t know what’s going on today. Probably going to watch the Kansas Lottery Race at 1 (go Marco!) and hang out with Tera for a little bit after that. It’s too hot outside to do anything else.

"I see a….cloud"

June 30, 2006

Yesterday was crazy. Work was pretty boring as usual. After work I finally went and got a haircut. It’s extremely short now, which is a good thing. Last night I went over to Mary’s and hung out. I hadn’t been there for a long time so it was fun to hang out with everyone once again. We left around midnight and headed towards K-Mart because Mark bet Chad $10 that it was closed. We stopped at Wendy’s for a few minutes on the way there and then went to K-Mart (which was open) and drove though Wal-Mart to see how much gas was. As we were leaving, some drunk almost hit us when he ran a red light. That was fun. We went to McDonalds on the way back and talked to Sarah for a few minutes and then almost hit a deer coming back by Wendy’s. Well, time to get some work done.

"I will miss our conversations…"

June 28, 2006

I watched “The Last Samurai” last night. I didn’t figure I would be too into it, but it ended up being an amazing movie even though I personally can’t stand Tom Cruise. If you get a chance to see it, do.

Went to work out last night again and found that I have gained 10 lbs in the last two months. That was a bit shocking. O well, not like it’s really showing up anywhere lol.

I might finally get a haircut today depending on how lazy I feel. I’m going to get to work.