SSDD

September 22, 2006

i give up on trying to plan things. seriously. anytime i want to have something special something stops it from happening. not that it’s anyone’s fault. but i just have really bad luck. not that it matters, i don’t think i’ve once been able to actually pull something off; therefore, it just looks like i’m full of crap and never had anything to begin with. i should be used to it. but i’m not. i’m sick of always feeling like i was lying. even when it’s ME who feels like i lied. i feel like i let myself down. it used to be someone saying “you always say that” and thinking i just made it up. now it’s to the point where i’m saying “why did you mention you were planning something anyway” because now i do feel like i was full of crap. so i’m done trying to plan things. not because it’s someones fault, but because “I” can’t worry about it anymore. i already have enough as it is.

We’ll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don’t need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don’t quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They’re not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

Let’s waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see

I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?


you could be happy

September 7, 2006

You could be happy and I won’t know
But you weren’t happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played on loops ’till it’s madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I’d been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it’s all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don’t think, just do

More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world